Here in Phnom Penh every day seems like it has been a month long when we think back on it. Today was no exception. We were looking at some photos this evening and commenting on how it seems like ages ago that we were in Macau.
This morning began with our normal degree of confusion since Yoen was to come by in a van to pick us up at around 8 am. He had gone to the rice broker's first to load the 20 bags of rice in the van and then picked up me, Kaley, Marcy, Julie and Hilary to go back to the Nutrition Center to deliver our gifts. It took us about a half hour to make the trip to the outskirts of town but when we pulled in clearly they had been waiting for us. Several men who work there doing something (who knows what) helped to unload the van, but Kaley and Hilary gave it a good hand, too.
They carefully piled all of the supplies in the middle of a big empty recreation room and the children climbed on the bags like it was a jungle gym. In a few moments a truck pulled up with the refrigerator and you would have though that the Queen of Sheba was arriving. Everyone went outside to watch. It was carefully brought into the room and the cardboard was quickly removed. Adults and kids alike were touching it and opening the doors to take a peek. You could tell that this was quite exciting for them. We did some posed shots of the group around the rice and then Kaley and Hilary (or Sopheap which is her Khmer name) passed out bananas and cookies to the kids. The Nutrition Center has become a facility almost entirely housing kids with fairly severe handicaps and HIV. Our welcoming committee was made up of almost all boys since the girls were at school. The boys go in the afternoon. They were very sweet (for the most part) and warmed up to us quickly. Some were clearly mentally bright despite their physical limitations. Two additional nannies were present today who weren't there during our first visit. They greeted us warmly (remembered this big white woman from my previous visits!) and the first thing out of their mouths was "Where's Dara?" (Baby boy - those ladies loved you and were sad that you weren't with us today. Yoen explained that you were home because you are going to football camp and they said that you have to come back next time. It was very sweet to hear them ask of you. )
After some playtime with the kids we were given another tour of parts of the facilities. We saw mostly young handicapped children this time, but we also saw a nice preschool type classroom and a playroom with quite a few toys. Very different from the Nutrition Center in 1991 and good to see. The younger children, most of whom probably have HIV, were way chubbier and healthier looking than the babies were in 1991. This, too, was good to see. Food is still in short supply, the training for the caregivers is limited, but they are doing the best that they can and we will know that our supplies will give them at least a good month where they can feed the chilren some extra food and special treats. (I can't remember if I mentioned yesterday that due to a communications glitch we bought 4 LARGE cases of sweetened condensed milk instead of formula. But I understand that the older kids enjoy this as a treat so it will be appreciated.)
I suspect that because of our generosity (which was YOUR generosity friends back home who sent money with us) the director of the orphanage and her assistant were willing to look in the log record book one more time to try to find any information on my kids. Brennan Dara's story seems to consistently add up. He was born on or about July 3, 1990 and he was abandoned in the town train station and then brought to the orphanage. Pretty cut and dry but a story that is consistent throughout his documentation. Kaley (Kalop's) story is not so clear. Despite the searching it appears that she was never entered into the book, leading us to believe that she didn't spend much time at the Nutrition Center. In some ways, I think that witnessing the more difficult parts of birthfamily reunions that she has seen with Leanne and Hilary during this trip have led her to think that maybe it's better that she doesn't know. On the other hand, she has said that she feels like she just fell out of the sky compared to the other girls. Several people have told us that advertising is fairly common here in Phnom Penh, since many families are still look for relatives lost during the Pol Pot/Khmer Rouge regime. There are ads and photos in the Khmer papers for people looking for family members and these ads are dirt cheap to place. Several adoptive families have placed these ads and a few have met with success. If the kids want to do that, we'll do it. We'll see how they feel about it after we get back home. For now, Yoen and his family are overjoyed to be their Cambodian family which is very sweet.
After the Nutrition Center we came back to Phnom Penh and made a visit to Tabitha, the non-profit group that my family did the housebuilding with back in 2005. This is an amazing organizataion that does lots of good across Cambodia, drilling wells and building homes using volunteers from around the world. They have a shop where they sell handicraft products made by their team of workers (who are paid better than the garment factory workers by the way) and we bought a few things. We also used some of the donated money to buy 2 wells and a pair of piglets to donate to a farm family. So to our donors, hopefully you'll enjoy knowing that you bought pigs today!
Next up was a quick visit to the SOS western health care center for me. I had stopped by earlier in the day and was given a 2 pm appointment. AFter my shower this morning when I went to dry my legs I realized that I looked like I had chicken pox from my toes to my knees. Nowhere else. I showed them to Miss Deb K who is our resident nurse, and she reluctantly told me that she thought I might have scabies and should go get checked out. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? This is way beyond my comfort zone and I was not happy. Neither were my travel mates who now were looking at me like the lady with the cooties. So at the clinic they didn't have any appointments left with the western docs but I could see a Khmer doc. Seeing a western doc is $60 in the downstairs clinic complete with comfort chairs and a TV in the waiting room. Seeing a Khmer doc is upstairs with benches lining the walls and only a $30 fee. I got bumped to the front of the line (imagine that?) and a nice doc told me that I had mosquito bites. Big relief. Hopefully he's right. He also told me that night mosquito bites are OK but day mosquito bites carry more disease. Hmmm. He also told me that I should lose weight. OK buddy, I'm on it, all right?
We also made a quick stop back to the Central Market to pick up a couple of things and as usual the beggars descended. Before I ever come back here, I'm definitely losing weight (because the Khmer doc told me to) and dying my hair black. Big blond woman in the market is just too much of a beacon for beggars. :-)
Yoen also took us to a dress/tailor shop where Kaley was able to look through catalogs of formalwear and "design" two dresses to be made for a low price. A woman we met is coming back to the states in late August and offered to carry anything back for us that we couldn't pick up while we were here so we're going to take her up on that offer. Mailing a small box through normal methods is about $300 so shipping is out of the question. Should be interesting to see how the dresses turned out. They measured her from 186 different directions so they should fit! They wanted to make dresses for me and Marcy, too, but we politely declined. The guy was working on a wedding gown for an American that was a replica of a magazine pic. If you're in the market for a designer wedding gown, you could definitely cover the cost of your plane ticket witht he money you would save by coming over here and have them make a replica. They told us that if you want to stay in Phnom Penh and have them do fittings throughout the dress creation process that you would need to be here for about 2 weeks. Very interesting.
We also stopped by the photo store to pick up our Khmer Hoochie Mama Glamour Shots that the girls had taken the other day. Kaley's were lousy. (IMHO) For some reason they seem to equate white with beautiful so in addition to the light make up they put on the girls they also lightened their skin before printing out the photos. Kaley looked like Kristy Yamaguchi (I know that is spelled wrong) and was in weird contorted positions. The photos of the three girls together will be fun souveniers, but I wasn't overly impressed by the whole Khmer glamour shots thing. Brown is beautiful, especially on these girls.
Back at the hotel, Leanne had returned from her overnight visit with her birthfamily. Read Deb's blog below for more details. God love this young woman. She is so brave to have done this. She came back with a touch of "Kampuchean belly" so she has been in bed throughout the evening. I think Kaley and Hilary are missing their spunky and fun friend Leanne, as we all are. Hopefully tomorrow she'll be back up to snuff.
This evening, Yoen wanted us all to come to his house for dinner but we couldn't take the thought of another awkward dinner in someone's home. I know that sounds rude, but you just get to the point where you don't want to push the rice around on your plate anymore. Mr. Mike (being the man of the group) broke the news to Yoen and we agreed we would stop by his home to see his place and then all go to dinner at a fun traditional Cambodian place down on the river. It is called Pon Lok and it is where Phnom Penh families might go for a celebratory meal. Since it is our last night in PP, this seems appropriate.
During our visit in Yoen's home we ate some very strange fruit that called for spitting large seeds in a bowl. I am a very bad spitter. I explained that American women don't spit much, but I wasn't sure that he got it. He also gave us some very strange little brown things that looked like cat poop and tasted very sour. He said they were to help increase saliva. We all sort of licked at it a bit and then hid it in our pockets. Very clever, wouldn't you say? Dinner was great fun with his three little boys singing American music (can you imagine these three little Khmer boys singing "shorty got low-low-low-low-low-low -low" with perfect gangsta accent?) They are just adorable and so sweet. I'm glad that they have agreed to be our Cambodian family!
Saying goodbye to the nannies again today was sad. Tomorrow will be sad for us as we say goodbye to Yoen and move on to Siem Reap to see the ruins. For me, it will be sad to say goodbye to Phnom Penh. I'm not sure that all of my traveling group share my sentiments, but I have come to love this place. Dirty, smelly, crazy, corrupt, overwhelming, sad... you get the picture. But more than most any other place I have experienced in my life, hope grows here. This is a place that is hopeful about the future, despite the current situation. There is so much joy in so many of the people that we meet. They are warm, curious, loving, and gracious. They have so little. They aren't afraid to ask for what they need from us, because they believe that we have so much. But the asking is done in a way that comes (I believe) from a sense that life can be better for them. That their world will be a better place in the future. In the U.S., current economic conditions have led many of us to feel like our quality of life has maxed out. It's not going to get better. We're not so hopeful about the future. But here in this place, as unbelievable as it is, there is still a hopeful spirit.
Riding with Yoen again today, we spent much time playing the english game yet again. Today's favorite was perhaps "what is the polite way to say fart?" Today's lesson included pass gas, feces, and urine. Strange as it seems, mastering those new words are part of Yoen's indominable spirit of hope.
In our language, how do we say "hope?" Do we remember? Perhaps we can learn from the people of Phnom Penh.
Night all -
Big hugs -
Lisa & Crew
Photos: 1. Kaley & Hilary deliver rice. 2. Delivered items and the Nutrition Center folks. 3. Remaining nannies who took care of the kids when they were babies. 4. Kaley and a cutie patutey. 5. Looking through the record book, one more time.
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