Why is it that a day in Cambodia seems to be at least a week long? It has been another long but good day. I got up early this morning and was ready to meet my friend Yoen at 8 am. He drove me to the child welfare offices of the national government here in Phnom Penh to make yet another request for any information about my children, Brennan and Kaley. For those of you who don't really know me, Brennan's name was Rath Dara and he was born on or about 7/30/90 and Kaley was Rath Kolap and she was born on or about 1/5/91. They both were in an orphanage here in Phom Penh known as the Nutrition Center at the time of their adoptions in 1991. I first attempted to find information about their birthfamilies in 2005 during my previous visit and was unsuccessful. I was told that Brennan was found at a train station and Kaley in a park and no additional information was available. In a place like Cambodia, it is hard to know what is true.
As I mentioned yesterday, Yoen thought I should make one more trip to the ministry to ask for any available information. Whereas in 2005 the woman at the ministry seemed agitated that we had come, this time the woman was more kind and interested (or so it seemed.) It may also have something to do with the fact that I think that Yoen told her that if she could find any documents for me there might be a gift for her. She carefully wrote down information, looked at my paperwork, and promised to call Yoen with any information. I can't say I'm hopeless, because I'm not the kind of person who ever really gives up, but I'd be willing to be an awful lot that we're not going to find anything this time, either.
Back to the Pavilion Hotel where we're staying and it was time to round up the troops for our scheduled 10 am departure time. Unfortunately, getting this group moving in the same direction is a bit like herding cats. Really nice cats that I like, but very independent cats all the same. By about 10:30 we were off with Thon at the wheel, Yoen in the front passenger seat to direct the way, and our dirty laundry loaded in the back. We stopped at a "laundromat" where our clothes will no doubt be washed by hand and hung on a line out back to dry. I still have clothes that I refer to as my Cambodia clothes from my last trip because they don't quite have the color that they originally had and no doubt we'll all have new Cambodia clothes after we pick up our laundry tomorrow!
For the next half hour or so we traveled through thick traffic and REALLY bumpy roads to the site of the new Nutrition Center. This is the orphanage where my kids, Brennan and Kaley, as well as Hilary were before their adoptions. It used to be right in Phnom Penh but now it is out near the airport. It was sitting on a valuable piece of property near a luxury hotel so the government finally sold the facility and built a new one in a new location. I couldn't believe the new facility. It is much bigger than the old orphanage and at first glance seems really nice. There is lots of space both indoors and out and the building seems very clean. But.... while the government of Cambodia built this nice big building, they neglected to buy any new beds, a refrigerator, toys, cabinets, etc., etc. Moreover, they gave the staff a car to drive back and forth to the market for supplies, but they have no money to put gas in the car. Brilliant, isn't it?
We had a great visit with the directress and one of the kids' nannies who took care of them. It was wonderful to see her again. She has lived at the Nutrition Center since some time in 1990 and our kids are some of the first that she cared for. She never got married or had a family or her own. She now works as a cook at the center.
I believe that they said that the Nutrition Center houses 126 children, most of who are either HIV positive or have fairly profound physical and mental handicaps. It is not a happy place to visit, and yet the caregivers do whats they can with very little. Deb, who is a nurse, and I were discussed the strange pattern to the symptoms that many of the kids seem to have with limbs that do not work and similar facial abnormalities. They are somewhat similar in appearance to some of the photos of agent orange children that we saw in Saigon in the war museum, so perhaps there is a chemical explanation for their syndromes. One of these children, born in 1989, was a child that we were originally slated to adopt since as an infant he appeared normal. By the time he was a little over 1 year old, the handicaps were becoming clear and his referral was pulled and Brennan Dara was given to us. The director at the time felt that this child would never benefit from living in America and that Dara would. It was hard to see this child during my visit in 2005 and hard to see him again today. It is tough to realize that he has lived out his life there in the Nutrition Center and will probably remain there until he dies since his stature is still that of a young child even at age 20. Still, I think that the orphanage director was right all those years ago that Brennan Dara could benefit more fully by growing up with a family in the USA and that gives me comfort. The nannies asked about Dara today. He was a beloved baby and remembered which is very cool. They seemed to delight in knowing that he is back in the USA going to soccer camp... or football camp as they call it here. Here, too, the directress offered to give looking for Brennan and Kaley's records one more try. She commented how surprised she was that "I came back," noting that most families return once to look for information and if they don't find it they give up. I wasn't really expecting her to respect me for that, but I suppose that I'll take any help that I can get in making that one last effort to help Brennan and Kaley put the pieces together. We'll see.
When we asked the Directress what the Nutrition Center most needed, she told us that they are desparate for rice, cooking oil, formula, and dry milk. When I asked her if there was anything that we could do that would make a difference in the lives of the handicapped children, she said that they could really use a refrigerator in which to store medicine, especially the drugs for the HIV positive children. So, thanks to all of you who have given so generously to http://www.sendricesendlove.com/ we're going to be able to buy a truckload of food supplies and that much needed refrigerator to leave behind at the Nutrition Center. Thank you for making this generosity possible!
After the Nutrition Center we continued on to a french organization called "Smile of a Child." This huge facility provides educational training for children and adolescents, particularly geared toward trades like the tourism industry or technical vocations. Nearly 3000 children of various ages participate in their programs. The children and their families live in one of the most unbelievably sad places on the face of the earth, a huge garbage dump on the outskirts of Phnom Penh. Here children gather every night and morning to rummage through trash as it is dumped from trucks, hoping to salvage bottles or paper that can be sold for tiny bits of money in order to help their families survive. The children come to Smile of a Child each morning to shower after their garbage digging, eat breakfast, go to school, have lunch, and then return to their families. The success rates of the programs are very high and it was a privelege to visit with them today and have a tour. One of the girls former nannies from the Nutrition Center now works at Smile of a Child, Madame Pok. She is the tiniest woman ever, I think. It was wonderful to see her again. She has taken care of so many babies over the years. Lunch at the school was interesting in that clearly our waitstaff was very new and inexperienced, but there were lots of smiles and we all finally ended up just eating whatever they put down in front of us. We're starting to realize that in Cambodia, it's just a lot easier to "Have it their way." Burger King this isn't.
Our next stop was the Killing Fields, also on the outskirts of Phnom Penh. This is the memorial to the millions who were killed during the Khmer Rouge holocaust. There are thousands of bodies burried in mass graves in this area. Over the years, unfortunately, this has become a not-so-well cared for tourist attraction and garbage litters the area where these bodies found their not-so-fitting rest. Marcy and Deb remember visiting this area in 1991 when it was a quiet farm field with a simple monument. We visited in 2005 and it was becoming a tourist attraction but still had a sense of quiet dignity. Today we didn't experience that. Construction of a museum center is underway and hopefully this will help provide those who are entombed there with the kind of dignity that is appropriate.
In the late afternoon we set off on a much happier and very unique adventure. My friend Melita in Bangkok had told us about having her daughter photographed at a sort of Khmer Glamour shots facility in Phnom Penh so we went to check it out. For the whopping price of $9 U.S., they dressed the girls up in traditional Khmer costumes, applied lavish makeup like the apsara dancers wear here in Cambodia, and did their hair, including really weird looking hairpieces. The girls loved it, but we were there for THREE HOURS by the time we were done. And again, this wasn't Burger King. If the girls didn't like their hair or jewelry, too bad for them. It was what it was. Poor Kaley. Her stylest took a straight razor blade to her eyebrows and gave her Khmer style brows. She was aghast but they didn't really look that bad, and besides that, they grow back. :-) We finally tried to send Thon and Yoen home since they had been sitting on the stoop waiting for us for way too long. Thon will not be with us after today since he has a two week driving job lined up with another family. He is a dear young man and it has been a pleasure to be with him. He's a great driver, too, in some very tough driving conditions!
We were about starving by the time we headed to dinner at the Foreign Correspondents Club near the river. The prices have gone up there since '05 and it cost us about as much as dinner out at home, but it was predictable western style food and every now and then we yankees need that.
Now, I'm sitting outside at the hotel by the pool, using the very slow wireless interenet. Strange birds or reptiles are making really weird sounds. The whole setting is surreal.
Tomorrow our group is going to divide and conquer a bit. Through a series of contacts and some mis-steps along the way, Leanne and her family may be on the trail of her birthsisters. They will meet with a representative of the Kompong Speu orphanage where Leanne lived and see what they can learn. Having witnessed Hilary's meeting with her family, Leanne admits to having a few butterflies in her tummy tonight. Who can blame her? I can't even imagine what it must be like for these kids to connect with pieces of their hearts and lives that have been missing for so many years and try to make sense of it all.
As for the rest of us, I think tomorrow will include some trips to the markets. Tomorrow night we're going to see some traditional dancers who perform here in Phnom Penh using the ancient art of shadow puppets. Should be a real treat. The Khmer Rouge tried to erase any memories of art and beauty during their deadly regime, so it is good to see so much art emerging once again in Cambodia.
Unfortunately, as the country redevelops, other things are emerging, too. Even since 2005 the traffic, smog, and garbage strewn all over the place has multiplied more than I could have imagined. I hope that the government and some of the non-profits at work here can help to get some of these things under control, but right now it all seems to be completely out of control.
Oh well... enough for tonight. Hopefully you've read Julie's blog, too, at http://www.sendricesendlove.com/ to hear more about Hilary's meeting with her birthfamily. We're all well and grateful for the emails, love, and prayers that sustain us.
Big hugs -Lisa & Crew
Photos -- 1. Kaley & Hilary at the Nutrition Center with one of their nannies. 2. At Smile of a Child with Mrs. Pok. 3. At the Killing Fields. 4. Glamour Shots, Cambodian style.
PS - Excuse my spelling. I know how to spell but I choose not to practice.
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